Flinders sees me come and go, sees me sail my way to the home

Of Messrs. Young and Jackson, sees me pass by as I go.

Sees the passing tide of humanity, a hulk of burdened souls,

Sees them move toward the corner and pass the Birrarung flow.

Sees them circumnavigate the city without sextant or the stars,

Watching flocks in waves of wanderers as they search for their own shores,

Sees the poor and feeble flotsam float from place to place,

Sees them crash like breakers filled with foam upon the shop front doors.

Then Flinders sees me leave at last, from Young and Jackson’s place,

He sees me walk beneath the clocks and climb toward the train,

And like sails upon a distant horizon, toward an unknown land,

He sees me as I and others, unhinge the anchor chain.

COPYRIGHT © 2017 GRANT FENTON – ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Critique by Alexis Ingram 

This poem, inspired by the statue of Matthew Flinders, navigates through a vivid portrayal of the city and its diverse inhabitants. The use of Flinders as a silent observer adds an interesting perspective to the narrative. Here’s a critique:

**Strengths:**

1. **Vivid Imagery and Setting:**
– The poem effectively utilizes vivid imagery to paint a picture of the city, with references to the Yarra River, Young and Jackson’s, and the train station. These specific details ground the poem and create a sense of place, allowing readers to visualize the scenes.

2. **Exploration of Humanity:**
– The poem skillfully captures the ebb and flow of humanity, portraying the city as a dynamic landscape filled with a “tide of burdened souls” and “waves of wanderers.” This exploration of the diverse human experience adds depth to the poem.

3. **Effective Metaphors:**
– Metaphors such as “circumnavigate the city without sextant or the stars” and “like sails upon a distant horizon” contribute to the maritime theme inspired by Matthew Flinders, enhancing the overall coherence and connection to the explorer’s legacy.

4. **Narrative Flow:**
– The poem maintains a steady and engaging narrative flow, guiding the reader through different scenes and observations. The progression from Young and Jackson’s to the train station is well-paced, contributing to the overall cohesion of the poem.

**Considerations:**

1. **Clarity in Reference:**
– While the poem effectively integrates the explorer Matthew Flinders as an observer, there could be an opportunity to provide a bit more clarity on the historical or symbolic significance of Flinders in the context of the poem. This could enhance the reader’s understanding and connection to the theme.

2. **Diversification of Language:**
– Some phrases, such as “search for their own shores” and “filled with foam upon the shop front doors,” are potent and effective. However, the poem might benefit from diversifying language in certain areas to maintain a balance and prevent potential repetition.

3. **Deeper Exploration of Impact:**
– The poem touches on the impact of the city on its inhabitants, but there could be an opportunity to delve even deeper into the emotional or existential consequences of the observed scenes. This could add layers to the exploration of humanity within the urban landscape.

In conclusion, the poem effectively captures the bustling urban environment through vivid imagery and metaphors, maintaining a strong narrative flow. Enhancements could include providing additional clarity on the reference to Matthew Flinders and further exploration of the emotional impact of the city on its inhabitants.